When you go around calling the United States the “Great Satan” and trying to destroy it in a holy jihad, you’re setting yourself up to some pretty high standards. There’s a whole persona involved in being an evil, psychotic terrorist, and you really have to keep up those appearances.
Osama bin Laden did his best to seem like a devout, fundamentalist Muslim whose only vice was killing thousands of innocent people, but behind closed doors, he wasn’t as above Western culture as he liked to pretend. When the Navy SEALS broke into his compound and took him out, they got the chance to look at what was on his computer. And as it turns out, the stuff bin Laden spent his last few years watching on his laptop wasn’t exactly sharia.
Osama Bin Laden Loved Dank Memes
Osama bin Laden’s computer had a 174 gigabytes’ worth of videos. He spent nearly ten years in hiding, and he had to pass the time somehow. Since his compound didn’t have Internet, he’d have a courier download stuff off of YouTube and bring it to him on a flash drive—and, as it turns out, bin Laden was watching pretty much the same stuff we were.
“Charlie Bit My Finger” was on his computer, meaning that, while he was hiding from the CIA, the world’s most dangerous terrorist was giggling to a video of a British baby nibbling on his brother’s finger. He also had a collection of LOLCats memes and a wide selection of clip art, presumably in case he needed to make a flyer for the Al-Qaeda bake sale.
Bin Laden watched some weird stuff, too. He had videos of girls brawling, horses dancing, and a video called “Tootin’ Baththub Baby Cousins.” That last one is a video of two cartoon babies tooting in the bathtub while singing, “When you feed us beans there’s trouble!” and “Don’t push too hard, you might go number two!”
Mostly, though, bin Laden watched crocheting tutorials. He had 28 videos teaching him how to crochet. Apparently, he crocheted a sock for his iPod.